Am I a Narcissist? (part 2)

For a personality disorder to be a disorder, it must be
1. permanent
2. pervasive and
3. personal

Its an unfortunate shortcoming of language that adjectives get conflated with nouns and the way words are used in a specialised context are confused with the way they are used in an every day context.

You can say “I have narcissistic traits” and be absolutely correct but still be a million miles away from “narcissistic personality disorder”.

There are online tests you can do for NPD or you can see if you match more than 5 of the following 9 traits:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Requires excessive admiration

Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

this is from…/narcissistic-personality…/

And I may add, you must generally be something of an “obnoxious predatory spoiled arsehole” (non clinical term).

We should not really be diagnosing ourselves or others with NPD. Though it can be useful to think in terms of these disorders when doing the post mortem on failed/toxic relationships.

Were you spoiled in your youth? Did you hit fame in early adulthood?

If not where would the hideously twisted sense of entitlement come from required for NPD?

In our quest to be rigorously and mercilessly thorough in our self analysis we can go too far.

This is a trait of co-dependent people pleasing (accepting blame, excessive concientiousness, misplaced guilt) which is a problem….

… but is not NPD.

I hope this helps.


About The Author

richard grannon

Richard Grannon, is passionate about helping people defend themselves, get back on their feet, and finally free themselves from narcissistic abuse

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